Prajnaparadha translates to 'an offense against wisdom'--it's an imbalance that happens when a part of you continues to act in a way that harms the rest of you. It's when you know deep down something is not good for you and you ignore the message and do it anyway.
You know you need to get to bed earlier--you feel it in your exhausted body and tired mind, and yet you stay awake. You know getting onto your mat and taking time for your practice will make you feel better, but you sit on the couch and scroll on your phone. You know the gluten in the beer you are holding will give you a stomachache. You drink it anyway. You know that friend/lover isn't good for you, you get together anyway. You know you are too busy to take on one more thing, you say yes anyway...The examples are varied and endless and only change throughout our lives. Hopefully as we age, we get better at aligning our deep knowing with our actions.
Often times we need to be thrown into a crisis before we listen to this inner wisdom. The body eventually gets sick. If we won't face reality, reality will take hold and settle into our bones. The true nature of things will show up (what we are unwilling to face), and we are then forced to address the points of imbalance in our lives, bodies, minds, relationships, jobs...you name it.
Last week was a doozey for me (and I heard I wasn't the only one--hope you're okay, too). Coming off a week out of town, in deep study with one of my teachers, plus a full moon and a birthday celebration, I've been on an emotional rollercoaster ride. I travelled way up high and way down low and am moving so quickly I can't even see the difference between the points. The body reads it all as overwhelm, and I kick into stress mode. I feel it in the tightening of my chest. It tightens when I get pumped up about a new collaboration or offering, and it tightens when I feel the weight of responsibility fall onto my shoulders.
When anxiety comes into the room, my perspective shape shifts into a negative, worrying, glass half-empty persona. The "I get to clean this amazing studio, I love being in this space", turns into "I have to clean the studio." The "I get to attend this amazing workshop" turns into "I shouldn't be here, I have too much work that needs to be done."
When I catch myself in this state I notice a couple of things. First, I notice the quality of my breath--it usually is a good indicator of my internal temperature. Then I pay attention to my mind, my body and it's sensations. And by shifting my attention to one or both or all of them, I find there is usually a deeper message within that is waiting to be heard. If I can sit with myself long enough and be present, I can hear the wisdom that is trying to find a voice. I can see where prajnaparadha is occurring, and I can access if I am ready to address this inconsistency. Often times I don't even need to be still to know what needs to happen. I already know what I need to do...I just need to do it.
For me, lately the biggest crime I've committed against my wisdom is so basic, it's laughable: I avoid sleep, even when I crave it so. How many of my health ailments and bad-ittudes would be cured with just a little bit of rest? This last month of small business management has pushed me into new level of lack of sleep, and I know...I really know...I cannot go on like this, even if I can and have been.
Which is where my Catholic roots come into play--no, not in feeling guilty for all the lost sleep...but...Lent! I have been so busy that I forgot to participate in Lent this year. Lent is one aspect of the faith that I was born into, that still holds a place in my heart. I've always been a person to observe the 40 days of Lent and devote myself to deepen my spiritual practice in some way during this time. I'm exactly one month late, but I decided I would start anyway. And for me I committed to listen to my inner wisdom, and in this specific case, to get to bed early...for 40 days! This means giving up working too late and allowing time for much needed rest.
Two nights ago was my first day, (hence why you are receiving this blog today...I made sure to go to bed instead of pushing through to finish this post 2 nights in a row). Even though I still missed one appointment yesterday, (because the plate + brain still overfloweth), I have a much better attitude about life and the load all just because I am better rested. Because I chose to take care of myself in a small and simple way.
So, what about you? Do you relate to prajnaparadha? Is there something you have been ignoring that you are ready to take note of and maybe even change? What small thing can you do to take care of you that you have been putting off or ignoring? I'd love to hear about it. Let's cheer each other on. As usual, we are here at the studio, holding space for you for your self-care needs.
It's been a month since I last posted here. There is too much to tell you, and I can't possibly cover it all, but I will leave some highlights, so you can get back to whatever it was you were doing before you clicked on this post.
New faces, New offerings
- April brings us a new teacher, Rita and her much needed weekly, class offering, Intro to Yoga. I have been working with this woman since November, she is wonderful and we are lucky to have her joining our collective. Click + scroll for a full description of her class and bio>> We hope this offering will draw in those people who have been waiting to come in, but not sure where to start, as well as people who want to learn more about what Yoga really is about--beyond the poses.
- We also have a guest writer, Kim who will blog here and there for us in the coming months. We look forward to having her voice and and willingness to share about all that is going on at the studio through her writing! You can soon find what she writes in a new blog Category: "Moonbeams - illuminating what happens here." You may also see her in studio taking a yoga class or attending a workshop. Let's give her a warm welcome!
Kiss My Asana Happenings
- Our studio is participating in Mind Body Solutions, "Kiss My Asana" fundraiser in April. We will hold one special donation event: New Moon Sacred Sound Bath on April 14 from 10:30-11:30am on behalf of the cause. We will officially debut some new musical instruments that have made their way to Compass Center for Healing, including a gong, Tibetan singing bowl and 7 beautiful chakra crystal singing bowls! Please preregister for this event as we only have room for 16 people.
- We are also a Passport Studio--which means if you decide to buy their passport, you can take one class with us (and at many other participating studios) for FREE during the month of April!
New collaboration with the N.E.S.T.: Prenatal Yoga!
- Also starting in April, Melissa (our Kundalini teacher) from the NEST will start a prenatal yoga series at Moon River! The classes will run for 6 weeks, from 8:30-9:30am on Thursdays. Please tell all your pregnant friends! We would love to keep this an ongoing offering if the community finds it is needed.
Intro to Pranic Healing + Pranic Healing® Level 1
- Jason Calva is coming to Moon River Wellness to share the gift of Pranic Healing. Whether you can come for a couple hours for an introductory experience to this energy healing modality (April 21) or whether you commit to deepen your study and go through Level 1 Certification (May 5-6), we hope you can make it happen. Read more about the training and all that is Pranic Healing here>>
I think that is all the big points that need to be shared for now. We still have a lot of wonderful events coming up, this weekend and in the following months, but I will save diving into them for another post. You can always join our newsletter or check our event's page!
Much thanks for being here + reading along!